Emperor Cain through the Ages is reproduced here with the permission of the Solaris Imperial Appreciation Institute, and is comprised of a series of lectures left by Emperor Cain for his numerous progeny, to be shown in the event of his death.
All dates are listed in Cain Era (CE), since, after all, Emperor Cain doesn't have much to say about anything before it!
Thanks to Institute Director MrsYuiRicdeau@aol.com for concept and images!

CE 7123 - Burgermeister Cain at home

In this picture, I can be seen relaxing at home with a young lady who, from the looks of her, has already benefited from my dedication to the duties of the Father of Mankind! I'm not actually sure if this is my home or not - certainly I don't remember having that strange little dog - but such details are best left to people who don't have better things to do.

The 7100s were a peaceful time for Solaris. Most of the peoples of the world still hadn't fully recovered from the nuclear annihilation of Zeboim, but there was none of that pesky fallout left over, either. As a result, I turned what little time I had to spare from my primary duties to matters of commerce.

I've never been a great fan of economics. All that business with markets and supplies and demands - what a lot of stuff and nonsense! When I was Burgermeister, we didn't have all those things. Everyone worked together to provide me with what was needed - which was really quite nice of them, come to think of it - and to make certain all the ladies were kept happy. Though, truth be told, that didn't take very much money.

The Gazel Ministry were always complaining about my economic theories being 'simplistic' - hah! I showed them. I didn't have economic theories! How could they possibly have been simplistic? Those twelve really weren't very bright, were they?

Miang claims that my shortsighted centralized policies caused the peace of the 7100s to collapse into the almost constant war and strife that consumed the next two centuries, but that's certainly not how I remember it. Actually, I blame it on the Contact, although there wasn't one at the time. Still, it's usually his fault, somehow.

In any case, no amount of business savvy kept me from performing my real duties as the Deus-appointed Father of Mankind. And that strange little dog obviously didn't stop me, either!