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Kyle here, gaming aficionados.
This time, our "distinguished panel
of experts" reviews Square's latest
blockbuster, Final Fantasy X.
Here's a little primer on Kyle's RPG
Roundtable
Reviews rating scale: |
0-1 is the lowest of the low. Basically, don't
even touch the game's box.
1.5-4.5 is below average. You might still like it,
though.
5 is absolutely average. Most games are a
5, so don't think this is bad. I mean it.
5.5-9.5 is above average. These are damn good scores,
even a 5.5. Definitely pick it up.
10 is the ultimate. If you can't afford the
game, consider selling body parts. |
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Gosh, this is a pretty confusing plot, you
know? A lot of the time I didn't really
have
any idea what was going on! Some of
the later
plot elements were kinda cool, and
at least
it didn't have too much of that foreshadowing and stuff. Overall,
though, I'd like something a little bit simpler,
especially in a Final Fantasy.
I like 'em all, but this one's a 3.5. |
Not only does FFX not have yours truly to
brighten it, it doesn't have anyone else
of note, either! I simply don't understand
how anyone could consider these talentless
buffoons acceptable. As intolerable as Tidus
is, his friends and enemies are, if anything,
even worse. And the voice acting most certainly
doesn't help develop the protagonists!
I suppose these fellows deserve a 1.5. |
Gau not like FFX gameplay so much. Me like
ATB battle, and this not ATB no more. Me
no like! It need more strat'gey, 'cause me
switch character in battle, like Wild ARMs
2 - me no like! But there lot of monsters,
so that fun. Me like monsters. Me like dodge
lightning bolts 200 times, too - mini-games
always funnest part of Final Fantasy!
Gau give this 4.0. |
Oh. My. God. This is easily the most graphically
abysmal travesty I have ever seen. The only
even vaguely redeeming quality is that the
photorealistic FMVs of a few characters look
nothing like their in-game models, but that
isn't enough to save this paean to unbridled
realism. I had to play two weeks of solid
Pong to get it out of my mind.
If I had to judge, I'd give it a 0.0. |
There are a few totally bodacious filler
tracks, and even a couple of most excellent
rockin' jam fests, on the FFX soundtrack.
Unfortunately, the sound quality is, like,
way too high for me, dudes, and a ton of
the tracks, like the main theme, are standard
bummer emotional junk. About what I've come
to expect from Nobuo Uematsu, dudes.
I'd crank the volume up to 2.5. |
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Well... their opinions basically suck! Here's
the catch:
If you take their scores and reverse 'em,
you'll get a pretty accurate picture.
Like Mr. artiste Lacan thought the graphics
were a 0.0? That's a PERFECT 10.0, and worth
it all the way. As for Gau's 4.0... well,
it could be worse, but I'm thinking 6.0.
Now, for the real low-down on Final Fantasy
X, I'm your man. After the last two efforts
to bear the Final Fantasy name, I wasn't
thinking this was going to be up to the standards
of FFs 4 through 8. But fortunately, I was
WAY off - this is maybe the best game in
the series so far.
Let's get it out of the way right off - these
are the best damn graphics out there. Bar
none. The in-game graphics are only a tiny
bit lower in quality than the FMVs, and remember,
these FMVs are light-years ahead of the PSX
Final Fantasies (though 8 comes close). Oddly,
Tidus, Yuna and Rikku look totally different,
and except for Yuna, really bad, in their
FMV forms, but that's the only complaint.
As for the other categories... Gameplay
is
real different, and maybe a little
better,
than past Final Fantasies, but still
nothing
much to write home about. All the playable
characters are top-notch, and the story,
although it's a little odd at times,
is real
cool and original. The music isn't
Uematsu's
best, with too many filler tracks.
Still,
the good tracks, and they aren't exactly
rare, are way better than FF9's, maybe
better
than any of the PSX FFs.
3B-wise, I'm sure not complaining. There
are some gorgeous babes here, of all different
types, they get plenty of showing - and you've
got to love Yunalesca's outfit, or lack thereof.
Blood isn't too high, but it crops up here
and there. And beasts, well, suffice to say
the series stalwarts have gotten some awesome
updates, and there are plenty of newcomers.
Overall, Final Fantasy X is a sign that the
series is back on track as the flagship of
Console RPGdom in general, Squaresoft in
particular - and of Sony's game machines.
Put together, it's about a 9.0.
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