continued from Page 1...
JP: "I see. And speaking of transforming, how does it feel to be one of the freakiest looking bosses in history? Even as a bald lunarian you were exceptionally ugly."
Zeromus: "It's quite an honor. Next month Neo-ExDeath and I are appearing together on the cover of PlayFiend."
JP: "Way too much information there... Uh, back to what I was going to ask, what can you tell me about this new political party you belong to?"
Zeromus: "The Monstrous Demonic Baddie Party is essentially conservative in nature. We wish to return the art of villainy to its roots: Huge, hideous monstrosities with nothing but unreasonably evil intentions. Our prestigious society includes our three founders, Ganon, Dark Force, and Chaos, along with Dark Cloud, ExDeath, Necron, Zophar, Deathevan, and all of the fiends and demonlords from the Dragon Quest universe. More such villains are applying every day."
JP: "It's quite a coalition. Perhaps even more dangerous than the Silver Haired Baddie Party."
Zeromus: "Of course! We do not have any pretenses of purity or ironically angelic forms. We oppose this new generation of villains and their faux coolness. We are pure evil, we are proud, and we are taking back the entire RPG genre!"
Necron: "That is why we want the RPGP. We have been kept out of it for far too long, but now it will be our stepping stone for our foretold return."
JP: "You know, both of you said you'd return before, but you never did."
Zeromus: "Hey, we're villains. We're allowed to lie. Besides, we leave the reoccurring appearances to the pros like Dark Force."
Necron. "When he says he'll be back in a thousand years, he keeps his word."
JP: "But aren't some of your powers outdated? ...I'm looking in your direction, Zeromus."
Zeromus: "Outdated? Ha! My powers are timeless. Perpetual Bio spells, Meteo, Black Hole, and my devastating Big Bang, which should instantly demolish any opponent who does not happen to be carrying dark matter. This is more than enough to earn me a championship."
JP: "Even with all that, it's quite a bad time for most villains in the RPGP right now. Ryu has defeated Fou-Lu for a second time to claim the championship. What's more, many of my former interviewees have finally received contracts, as have the Final Fantasy X cast members."
Necron: "They do not concern us. Everyone knows that what our party lacks in personality and characterization, we make up for in sheer power."
JP: "Brave words, considering you could probably be wiped out in one hit from some of those guys..."
Necron: "Do not belittle me for my lack of HP! I could easily destroy any of those heroes and the poser villains that have infested the RPGP."
JP: "It sounds like you have a bit of a grudge against the SHB's."
Necron: "Yes. We would like nothing more than an all-out melee against their entire membership."
JP: 桡t would be one hell of a match. However, one major factor working against you is... some of you just plain suck."
Zeromus: "And none of the Silver Haired Baddies suck?"
JP: "None that I can think of at the moment."
Zeromus: "Well, Necron is in fact very important to our plans."
Necron: "Why do you automatically assume he's talking about me?"
Zeromus: "Necron is a return to the old-school final boss of yore. He just comes out of nowhere and gives his custom Ultimate Evil speech, and proceeds to maul you."
JP: "Maul, eh? Appropriate choice of words, considering part of Necron's speech was lifted directly from a particularly bad movie."
Necron: "It's not like I'm the only one that gets writer's block, Mr. Reporter."
Necron: "Admit it. I was a great final boss."
JP: "No, you were a pointless final boss. It should have ended with Kuja."
Necron: "But Kuja was a pushover, wasn't he? Zidane and the others needed a challenge."
JP: "Actually, while being a little cheap, you weren't much of a challenge either."
Necron: "You cannot deny my power. With my high speed, extreme physical and magic defense, and unique ultimate attack Grand Cross, I was a terror before and I will be a terror once again in the RPGP."
JP: "But Grand Cross isn't that unique or even that powerful. Certain baddies in Final Fantasy Tactics used it before you, and anyone with protection against status ailments and instant death only needs to worry about the mediocre damage. You might as well be a Marlboro for what that spell is worth."
Necron: "You still doubt me. Let me ask you this: Do you hate me?"
JP: "Of course."
Necron: "Then I did my job as a villain."
JP: "In a sense, I have to admit you're right... But, you did a half-assed job at best. All nostalgia aside, I don't think the world needs any more villains like you."
Zeromus: "It doesn't really matter what you think of us. Without us and our brethren, RPGs would have never come this far."
Necron: "Soon you will realize this, just as our opponents in the RPGP will realize their own certain deaths."
JP: "Very well. But you'll soon realize that in the end, the only reason villains like you exist are to be toppled by the heroes. I'm going to wish you both good luck getting into the RPGP, but only because I look forward to seeing you humiliated by the same characters that sent you into retirement years ago."
Zeromus, Necron, and their Monstrous Demonic Baddie cohorts... Forgotten Warriors, or Best Left Forgotten? Again, I'll leave this one up to the readers to decide. But personally, there are some bosses that I'd much rather forget.