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ED: "An EVIL tree."
JP: "Fine, an EVIL tree."
ED: "If an onion calling himself Yggdrasil gets a spot, there's no reason I shouldn't. It's outrageous!"
JP: "Well, that makes sense to me."
ED: "And besides, I command the power of Nothingness! I can make entire countries disappear into the void! No RPGP character, much less a pathetic 'Tree of Wisdom' can match that."
JP: "You know, there are two monsters hanging around your realm, Omega and Shinryu, that are clearly stronger than you are. Uh, no offense of course. My point is, doesn't it bother you?"
ED: "Yes, yes, I know. I would banish them from my realm, but as you said, they are stronger than I... But at least I have the advantage in plot device power!"
JP: "If it makes you feel any better, they both show up in sequels to humble other powerful end-bosses."
ED: "It does not."
JP: "Oh well. You should know that playing third fiddle to a couple of trans-dimensional squatters isn't going to help your popularity in the RPGP."
ED: "What does it matter? Compared to the other godlike contenders, I am supremely powerful!"
JP: "Perhaps. Yet you were beaten by three girls and a guy named 'Butz.'"
ED: "It was more complicated than that!"
JP: "I wonder. The fact is, the other Final Fantasy bosses had good reason for losing. Chaos had mediocre HP; the Emperor had that inexplicable weakness against Bloodswords; Dark Cloud had to deal with overpowered summons and ambidextrous ninjas; Zeromus was up against a group of five which was probably the most perfectly balanced party ever; Kefka had pathetic HP and had to face a dozen characters with Ultima spells; Sephiroth and Ultimecia were up against the cheapest attacks in history; Necron just plain sucked ass. What's your excuse?"
ED: "Those infernal Warriors of Dawn... I could not adequately prepare for them! Their wretched 'job change' system kept me guessing, despite my omniscient powers. Who would have thought that they could turn into mimes and start an invincible chain attack of doom?"
JP: "Well, I suppose that's valid. Mimes are pretty scary. Fortunately there aren't many in the Playoffs, and you would never have to fight more than one at a time."
ED: "Then my victory is certain!"
JP: "Don't be so sure. Newer RPG characters are becoming increasingly more powerful. Do you have what it takes to 'exceed death' and take the championship?"
ED: "Indeed! While I could simply erase any of my opponents with a thought, or overpower them with my bone-chilling 'Psycho'-esque theme music, I could just as well entertain the mob by raining down magical destruction upon my foes. And if I am in the mood, I shall finish off my adversary with my ultimate attack, Almagest!"
JP: "Sounds great in theory. I'm sure everyone is curious to see if you can back up your words in actual matches. Good luck in the RPGP."