Emperor Cain through the Ages is reproduced
here with the permission of the Solaris Imperial
Appreciation Institute, and is comprised
of a series of lectures left by Emperor Cain
for his numerous progeny, to be shown in
the event of his death.
All dates are listed in Cain Era (CE), since, after all, Emperor Cain doesn't have much to say about anything before it!
Thanks to Institute Director MrsYuiRicdeau@aol.com for concept and images!
CE 2994 - Sir Cain Slays A Dragon
Around this time, Solaris came under attack by a massive influx of native life forms. Though many a Chu-Chu was roasted upon our spits after the battles, and the Croaker Tribe all but croaked, for a while things did not look good for mankind. The beast in this picture is an example of the most ferocious of these native lifeforms, called a Dragon.
The one in this picture was menacing a particularly lovely princess of a neighboring vassal state, and in the interests of maintaining good diplomacy, I set out to slay the foul thing myself. Let no one say that I didn't do any work back in those ancient days! I attended very faithfully to my most important duties, as the number of humans mucking about attests to!
Let no one say that the dragon in this picture looks rather like a small winged dog, either, for I assure you that it was the real thing. It looked much bigger in real life - bigger than my horse, at the very least. In fact, it may have been the size of a house or more. I leave such precise judgements to stuffy scholar types who don't have anything better to do with their time, if you know what I mean.
The battle lasted several seconds, and I was utterly devoured. Little did that monster realize that only -Cain- can kill -Cain-, and that getting eaten was really just the first part of my extremely clever plan. I soon dispatched it using my trusty pocket knife.
While I was actually fighting the dragon, two of the Gazel Ministry were distracting it by trying to jab its scaly hide with their swords. The blade left in the beast's back was one of theirs, I believe, a monument to their arrogance. For all I know, that rusty old katana is still stuck in that backbone on some island somewhere. It's obvious that my pocket knife did all the real work of slaying it, though.
Of course, speaking of real work, my task was far from over when the dragon died. These creatures had practically depopulated the region, so of course the aforementioned princess and I had to work to reverse the damage. It took a great deal of time, but today I'm sure that region is full of people, or at least it was before the Zeboim war.