Emperor Cain Through the Ages

Emperor Cain through the Ages is reproduced here with the permission of the Solaris Imperial Appreciation Institute, and is comprised of a series of lectures left by Emperor Cain for his numerous progeny, to be shown in the event of his death.
All dates are listed in Cain Era (CE), since, after all, Emperor Cain doesn't have much to say about anything before it!
Thanks to Institute Director MrsYuiRicdeau@aol.com for concept and images!

CE 4920 - King Cain Becomes Spiritual Leader

Portrait of King CainThis portrait was painted during a time of great upheaval for the Solarian people. While that may have had something to do with the food we were eating, it was also because I decided about that time that as Deus-appointed Emperor of Humanity, I ought to be in charge of people's spiritual lives as well as their temporal ones. Actually, it was because some of the major religions at the time were saying that I, Father of Mankind, shouldn't practice polygamy!

Well, needless to say, I didn't stand long for that sort of seditious talk. It all got blown completely out of proportion, though, and pretty soon I had to start having people's heads cut off left and right. It all got rather grisly and stomach turning. Perhaps that was the cause of the great upheavals?

Of all the nerve, though - telling me I was supposed to have just one wife! If I'd followed that sort of claptrap, why, where would humanity be today? There would be a great deal less of you, that much is certain!

Aside from that messy business, it was a grand time to be alive. As you can see from this portrait, I'd begun to put on a little weight at the time. The food back then was truly excellent, or at least it was for me. The Gazel Ministry kept pestering me about how I was spending too much of the Solarian budget on food, so I had no choice but to cut their meals by 2/3. When you think about it, they really were asking for it.

In any case, my being a bit more robust in stature certainly didn't seem to impair me in my most crucial duties - in fact, most of the ladies at the time said of the Father of Mankind that there was just more to love!

Oddly enough, Miang says that I was temporarily insane at that time. Looking back on my obviously sensible decisions, I don't know what she's talking about! Perhaps she would think better of the period if I hadn't been forced to cut off the heads of two of her incarnations for excessive nagging.