Emperor Cain Through the Ages

Emperor Cain through the Ages is reproduced here with the permission of the Solaris Imperial Appreciation Institute, and is comprised of a series of lectures left by Emperor Cain for his numerous progeny, to be shown in the event of his death.
All dates are listed in Cain Era (CE), since, after all, Emperor Cain doesn't have much to say about anything before it!
Thanks to Institute Director MrsYuiRicdeau@aol.com for concept and images!

CE 1 - Creation of Mankind

Cain, Father of Humanity, at the CreationYep, this is where it all began - Cain Era 1, the very beginning of my life! What a time it was. Music, dancing, nuclear bombs... oh, wait, that was Zeboim. Hah! Ten thousand years are easy to mix up, believe me.

This picture, for instance - it was painted long after the actual creation, in about CE 4500, and the artist got some of the details wrong. You can never trust those artsy types. I mean, look what happened with Lacan.

Actually, the creation of mankind on our planet wasn't anywhere near as visually stunning as it looks in this picture. Actually, it was on the cold and clammy side, a rather test-tubey experience. Miang got the really impressive 'watching the Eldridge fall' experience, but I got stuck with the waking up in Merkava part. It was really a bummer, especially in the first couple of weeks.

Of course, thanks to my accelerated growth, after a couple of weeks, Miang was visually stunning enough! But don't get the wrong idea, that being the father of humanity wasn't hard work. If the Gazel Ministry hadn't been around to gather food and firewood while I was at work, I don't know if we would have made it. I took my appointed task very seriously, you see. Don't believe those rumors that the ministry pitched in with the main work, either - human life on this planet is all Cain, all the time!