|Lord of the undead, mightiest of vampires...
fitness guru! Brahms, Lord of the Undead,
reveals for the first time in this
the secrets of his immortal unlife
powers - and they're not what you think!
In his new fitness program, entitled Tai-Brahms, the Lord of the Undead reveals how he has used esoteric martial arts to stay fit as a fiddle after thousands of years of mostly sedentary undeath. For evidence, he points to his own astonishing condition: "Most vampires are well into the noseferatu stage by my age, yet, aside from some greying of the skin, I'm still the eight-foot-tall mountain of muscle I was six thousand years ago!"
And whether you're alive or undead, YOU can benefit from this extraordinairy NEW offer, for a mere 10,000 MP plus shipping and handling!*
* offer not valid in some afterlifes