Wild ARMs: 2nd IGNITION
Welcome again, boys and especially girls, to my very own RPG review section, 3B. For those confused by the name... join the club! I came up with it when I was in, umm... not exactly the most sensible frame of mind. Okay, so I was a little drunk. Anyway, here's the deal - with apologies to Joe Bob Briggs of Drive-In Movie review fame, I rate RPGs on the three essential 'B's. Beasts (monsters, moron), Blood (can you figure this one out?) and Breasts (my personal fave - unfortunately, for pretty much all the games it's not literal).

Got all that? Great. I rate on a scale of one to ten, with tenths of a point because I felt like it. If you don't like it, click the link back to the Inquisitor and stop whining to me!

This time at 3B I'm gonna review a newer game - that's right, one you might have conceivably not played yet, but which you still could buy! As shocking as this is, on to my review of Wild ARMs 2!

Beasts 9.4
Things get off to a great start, 'cause there's more and better beasts to be found here than in pretty much any other game. If I wasn't a trained swordsman, some of these things'd give me nightmares - and that's just their dialogue! The optional super bosses are great, both in terms of fighting power and sheer cool-looking-ness. Really well drawn critters that animate simply but effectively, and the last few regular bosses are awesome. Major beastage.

Blood 1.6
If all you're looking for is violence, there's plenty of it here. Lots of people, places and things get stabbed, levelled and shot in Wild ARMs 2. Too bad most of them seem to be one hundred percent bloodless. Even the suicides in this game don't have the usual gushing result. With one notable exception (and that's a self-inflicted wound, not fatal, either), nobody squirts out any of the red stuff. Blargh.

Breasts 6.3
There's a lot of potential here. You can tell that by getting a load of the anime-style cut scenes. Altaecia and Anastasia are both real lookers, and underneath that Vincent-clone outfit, Kanon probably is too. Too bad you don't get to see much of anything. This one only picks up the rating it's got because of more than a little innuendo and most of all because of Altaecia's tight, wet gown in one anime sequence - the latter being worth the wait for the second disk. On a side note, scout around for Antenora's concept art (or buy the hint guide, for all I care), because she's got less on and more to cover than any of the others. What's with all the 'A's?