Welcome, boys and especially girls, to my very own, brand-spanking (hey, I don't go in for that... much) new RPG review section, 3B. For those confused by the name... join the club! I came up with it when I was in, umm... not exactly the most sensible frame of mind. Okay, so I was a little drunk. Anyway, here's the deal - with apologies to Joe Bob Briggs of Drive-In Movie review fame, I rate RPGs on the three essential 'B's. Beasts (monsters, moron), Blood (can you figure this one out?) and Breasts (my personal fave - unfortunately, for pretty much all the games it's not literal).

Got all that? Great. I rate on a scale of one to ten, with tenths of a point because I felt like it. If you don't like it, click the link back to the Inquisitor and stop whining to me!

Anyway, I thought I'd start closest to home, with my very own Game of Origin, Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete - and you can be sure I'll be totally honest. Yeah, right.

Beasts 6.5
First off, there's more beasts in a typical RPG than there are gallons of booze in me after a night at the Meribia tavern. So it's not the quantity, it's the quality, that I'm going for here. The beasts of Lunar are pretty good - but they sure aren't close to perfect. There's some good designs and they take some strategy - the first real boss is a regenerating blob-thing that's worth remembering, and the Bronze Dogs look extremely cool (until they get heated up, anyway, still, nice effects). Too bad there's a lot, and I do mean a lot, of recolors in the regular enemies.

Blood 0.3
Pathetic, just pathetic. This'd be a zero if it wasn't for Ghaleon pretty much getting a bloody nose when he goes down. NO fountains of blood. NO surreal and violent suppressed memories. NOT EVEN A BASICALLY REDDISH SPLOTCH WHEN YOU KILL AN ENEMY. Ugh. Nicey-nicey...

Breasts 9.4
The opposite of the blood category. You want quantity? There's more hot chicks - and more shown of 'em - here than in any of the competition. You want quality? Oh, yeah. Get a load of these bromides, my friend. And best of all, you can check 'em all out over and over again - they're re-usable items. You need no other reason to check Lunar out than to get all the Bromides. And that's not even mentioning the Althena's Spring animations if you can fight your way to the ladies section... bring lots of soap! Besides, skimpy outfits are better than lens flare if you've got to have coverage...